Am I undergoing some test of patience? To see how long I can endure the verbal snipes from people I'm supposed to be calling my comrades? Is this in object lesson in how the Aesir feel about him?
I'm pacing around the top of the mountain we appeared in, helping Hiroku, the Scion of Hatchiman we rescued, plot out the method of a ritual we're going to try to hopefully get us and the town home. Tetsuko is standing nearby, keeping guard, though she keeps glancing at me.
I know what she's thinking. It's not hard to figure out what manner of things she was saying whenever the subject of the svartalfar comes up. It's probably the Japanese equivalent of "whore". She gives me dirty looks whenever that comes up. Alanna doesn't even have the courtesy to hide her comments behind a language I don't speak. Moira seems to be the only one who isn't out to make me feel unwanted.
Long story short, we had Hiroku use his powers of Psychopomp (finding places, going between worlds, ferrying the spirits of the dead) to lead us back to the mountain and to a spot where the connection between this world and the real world is strong. We started to spitball ideas when Alanna decided to let me know that she holds me responsible for the mess we're in.
Yes, it all comes down to the fact that I was getting fucked when the girls rushed in to bail me out. Never mind that I was in there alone. Never mind that I was inches from blowing my cover. Never mind my life was on the line. Noooo. All I was after (apparently) was some svartalfar cock.
Then she gives me this speech essentially laying blame on me for dumping the town in HER lap, like it's HER sole responsibility to make sure the people survive. That if she doesn't she might as well let her mother sacrifice her. There's a reason I'm venting here, because that just sounded like the biggest pile of selfish bullshit I've ever heard.
I'm furious, right now, I can hardly think straight. Though I think I've made up my mind: I'm seeing this thing through to the end, I wont abandon anyone, but once this crisis is over, I'm gone.
Tetsuko is approaching me.
Great... now what?
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